Trust is a wonderful quality. It is very satisfying to have enough faith and confidence in a person or a company to take them at their word.
And most of the time, everyone involved in a verbal commitment really does mean to keep their word and to stick to it.
The problem is more one of fading memories. As time goes on there is a good likelihood that one or both parties committed to a verbal agreement simply forget the details of the mutual pact.
The act of insisting on a written agreement is not necessarily a lack of trust. It can often be an excellent “memory aid” in the event of confusion down the road.
No matter how simple or unimportant an arrangement might be, a written agreement can actually become a relationship builder, and not a friendship destroyer.
As I said, trust is a wonderful quality!
Don't let it ruin a good relationship forever.
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Excellent post. I am also aware of thefading memories! I like how you put that, "a memory aid"..very good!
I total agree with your comment about helping with details down the road as well - it has both helped me when I went back and read it and humbled me when I did not and someone else did.
The other reason to get into writing is that sometimes it clarifies details. People hear what they want to hear and it is not always what a person means. Writing it down will sometimes clarify those points.
Excellent advice that applies to many, many situations. I particularly like the line that a written agreement can be a relationship builder...exactly right!
Getting it in writing should be rule number 1. All too often, things are said, not written down and then forgotten. It's not a lack of trust, as you mentioned, to have things in writing. It's the most sincere form of accountability.
If "it" is transaction related. . .
"If there is an agreement and it isn't in writing, it didn't happen".
Which is why I don't negotiate by phone. The record is in the stratosphere, not in the hands of the parties involved.
Experience has taught me this lesson. Learned this lesson long ago as I started my career in medicine - write it down!
I couldn't agree more. It is helpful to have everything in writing to keep all parties on the same page.
Richard can you say it one more it. I put it all in writing and I don't have a problem with it and for those who do have a problem with it, it's got to make you wonder.
Put it in writing? Well of course it makes sense that way everyone knows expectations. Does it take time? You bet, but so does undoing a misunderstanding.
Good fences make good neighbors.
Good written agreements make good transactions.
So true,
The day of the hand shake are gone.
They have been replaced with the pen and sometimes sword.
Enjoy the day
So true....so true. When will people learn? Guess you have to get burned a few time before you get smart.
Patricia/Seacoast NH
I've bookmarket this and plan to re-blog. Valuable post to get "out there!"
If its not in writing, it doesn't exist. I recently had to explain to a short sale negotiator how we could not close on just a verbal acceptance from the bank. We needed an actual letter in writing agreeing to the terms. It was a nightmare to say the least.
You are so right. I get more and more paranoid over the smallest things. It is sad when our word is no longer enough.
Richard, I never allow verbal negotiations with my clients. It seems when it is finally put in writing the terms always change from the original verbal agreement. Getting it in writing is good advice.
In California, all real estate transactions must be in writing. If someone won't agree to something in writing, it's usually a good indicator that they are shysters.
You said it Richard! And when the poop hits the fan, as it sometimes does, memories can become skewered by circumstance!
Jeremy...
At my age, that's important. THX
Gray...
And sometimes you don't remember what your last offer was! Thanks.
Susan...
It reall does just that. Thanks so much.
Craig...
Yes, accountability. Excellent point. THX
Lenn...
This was more about an agreement between parties that know each other very well than a transaction, but it applies across the board. Thanks!
Richard,
No truer words were ever spoken, especially in this business.
Rich
In Arizona, when it comes to real estate, if it isn't in writing, it's meaningless.
You can't say this enough....so I am going to reblog it!
Great stuff Richard, if it isn't in writting, it isn't a part of the transaction. Everything needs to be in writting
I learned years ago to confirm all conversations in writing. That way someone can't say I said and I can't say he/she said. It's all right there in black and white. Here' in Texas we have the Statute of Frauds. If it's not in writing it's not binding.
What can I say, when you're right, you're right! Great post, short, sweet and oh so to the point. And I love the photo Richard, as always.
Richard - Especially when dealing with transactions as significant as a home purchase or sale. Verbal agreements aren't worth the paper they're written on : )
Thanks for the informative content !
I bought my first car on a handshake from the seller and borrowed the money on a handshake with the banker. I bought my first doublewide (give me a break here ok?) with a handshake from the seller and went to the bank and pulled the cash out and went and paid her (no land involved).
Those days are gone...I tell every single person I work with that we need it in writing for it to be legal...even if it is on a napkin with all parties signing...but verbal is just chitchat. And that is not just real estate...that is everything!
Hmmm...I wonder if I can get my wife to sign a pre-nup and make it retro to 1987?
Richard, great post, short and to the point. I got burned years ago with relying on someones trust.
Absolutely! For home inspectors, a pre-inspection agreement is essential. Not only does it document what will be done, but it sets customer expectations.
Large or small an agreement is an agreement..unless one party forgets! Even a simple email can jog the memory.
Richard, Short and to the point and soooo very appropriate. I continue to be shocked at the agents who will call me and say, I have an offer (or a counter) but let's just do this verbally until we get to agreement. NOT
How can we be expected to remember all the tiny details involved in that negotiation if it is not written down. I insist on written offers and counter offers. Oh, and BTW, it's the law around here. MUST be in writing.
Even my husband and I often communicate by email and it's certainly not a lack of trust. Well, I may not trust him to remember, but I can often be heard saying, "Honey, could you shoot me a quick email with those details so I won't forget." It has saved many details and many little quarrels when we could refer to the written word.
GREAT BLOG.
Richard,
The thing is, now it is easier to put it in writing than ever. If one does slip, and not put it in writing, follow it up with an email.
Rich to Rich......good discusion and sharing post
The only reason I did not ever get something in writing is becasue I was too lazy to do so. After seeing the worst show its ugle head, you run to get it in writing before you draw your next breath. Not only that, it is in the Real Estates agents 101 requirements......Dont learn this the hard way....it stings........
Richard, I insist on everything in writing, even if it only an email confirmation, I like to send a note saying per our discussion we'll "lower the price effective today" please respond to this email suggesting you concur with this agreement.
I make sure that everything that was discussed was followed up in an e-mail and I keep every e-mail pertaining to a transaction in an Outlook folder for a very long time - years after the close.
Expectations of everyone in the real estate transaction. Even with writing, you and I could have a slightly different interpretation so lots of communications, answering questions and clarification key along with technical writing skills to spell it out in black and white.
It is even about more than trust. Sadly, I had a Seller pass away this week. Gladly, I had one written authorization after the next that were agreements or clarifications with clean out crews, subs, etc. for the disposition of items and the preparation of the property to go on the market.
In today's lawyer/court dominated business world, there is no alternative. Everything needs to be reduced to writing in order for it to have happened. I can understand why clients would not want to do this trying to avoid the obvious legal implications, but if they didn't have a choice, then this would never be a problem (and by not having a choice, I mean simply agents not giving them a choice because they themselves don't have a choice, not out of bad faith).
I wonder if the (not so near) future will include people recording or making videos of conversations with their clients and those being also used to enforce agreements and contracts. Who knows...
I also like a lot of confirmatory emails as in, "This is to confirm our conversation that..la de da.."
People are so busy these days that it is harder and harder to pin down buyers and sellers. People really do mean what they say and I still trust people. As agents, however, it is our job to pin people down and get the details in writing. There are many more reasons not to buy than to buy. It is easy to second guess a decision to buy. Once an agreement is in writing, all parties know where they stand. Buyers can still back out, but at least they will do so with seriousness. I second everybody about "fading memory." People hear what they want to hear. Details get missed. Our job is to make everything clear.
Swell reminder. I mainly process short sales and I would find my business underwater if I did not adhere to this rule of thumb. A "verbal" approval in short sales is "NO" approval at all!
I agree.
Writing avoids the he said - she said phenomenon of selective memory.
The few times I've let handshakes override addendums I've managed to come out ok but, you're right, the written word leaves no question what was intended.
you are so correct.
No matter what the agreement, get it signed.
you are so correct.
No matter what the agreement, get it signed.
Hi Richard, Written contracts are a lot like fences between neighbors !
Richard, moreover, courts and judges have a very difficult time interpreting oral agreements!
Richard, thanks for this post. I agree that using the term "memory aid" is a great way to position the reason for getting it in writing!
Richard,
The days of "A man's word is his bond" has gone forever.
Short, sweet, and to the "point". So true. Hadn't thought about the "memory aid" but applicable to most all of us. Thanks and congrats (again!)
Hi Richard~ Getting it in writing is the only way to do business. There is no way for anyone to ever remember all of the details. Besides that, there is so much more involved with these contracts and one little thing could drastically change the deal!
We have a long standing policy of "we only present written offers" and it's served me well. Before I bought the company a coworker presented an offer another co worker had a "handshake" about. Well... his wife made him take it back. thus the policy began.
Oh you said this so well - & very tactfully too to phrase it as a memory aid rather than anyone thinking it was because someone might not stick to their word (though we all know not everyone's word IS good).
Absolutely get it in writing! I too have noticed over time, people forget things and who agreed to what. Getting it in writing is the best way of avoiding issues later!
A think the corollary is "the internet never forgets". Good post on statute of fraud, and written agreements.
Richard,
That is why I ask for a buyers agreement to be signed; to help with one's memory!
Hi Richard. In email works wonders too. Cheers.
I couldn't agree more. If it's not in writing, it never happened. I've gotten into the habit of following up phone calls with an e mail recapping our conversation, that way there is a paper trail. I also add that if there is any difference, please e mail me. Needless to say if it is transaction related, it needs to be signed by all parties involved.
Richard, in writing is critical, otherwise VERBAL is just worthless...
There are too many transactions to remember everything. You have to get it in writing.
Ricjard, a man's word isn't worth anything in court, but I hold a mans word in high reguard. It is a good trait in anyone!
My first Broker (Coldwell Banker 1985) told me,
"Every agreement must be in writing - if you make an agreement with your own mother, put it in writing and both of you sign it".
It is some of the best advice I have ever received.
Great post, Richard.
I agree completely. As long as it is presented well, asking for agreements to be put in writing is a helpful memory booster and does not have to be off-putting at all. Thanks for the article :0)
I have had agents scream at me over the phone to change a status from Active to Contingent when a bank has verbally negotiated an offer. If it isn't in writing, it isn't.
Good morning Richard,
Excellent, excellent advice..in all areas of your life..better to be safe than sorry. Great post Richard!
Excellent. Around here we say, 'all I know is what I can read'. It ABSOLUTELY must be reduced to writing.
No one seems to think you are wrong here. I learned from a business partner long ago that "if it isn't in writing, it isn't true".
Excellent advice, now we just need to start applying it:)
I worked in South Florida for 10 years where everything MUST be in writing...
I have spent the last 10 years in Central Florida where most operate on the "buddy system" and think a promise is good enough...I think not.
If its not it writing it does not exist.
Eve in Orlando
We've all learned that hard way that having it in writing is the only way to go.
Basic, basic, basic.....really well put! I often will do some verbal negotiation, and then end the call with..."great, put that in writing and get it to me" That's when any action begins. Trust but verify.
Unfortunately the common practice around our area is to negotiate verbally but I've known several agents who have had it come back to haunt them. One agent I know had negotiated a verbal agreement with the listing agent. The listing agent was out of town and said he would write it up when he returned on Monday morning. Well, what a surprise the buyer's agent got when the listing agent called on Monday to say they got a better offer over the weekend and since their deal wasn't in writing . . . Hard lesson to learn. The listing agent was a very reputable agent in our market and it was very frightening to learn that he did this. I think that back then had it been me, I would have trusted him too. But not anymore.
Richard, has anyone ever mentioned to you that anything agreed to should be in writing or one should not expect to get it??? A great reminder and excellent post.
To this day I always remember what the instructor of my real estate class taught us - "If it's not is writing it does not exist" and "he with the thickest file wins" when things start getting ugly as they sometimes can.
Very good point. I see this in my own life. I think one thing is true then go back to the source and am often surprised.
Get it in writing for sure, in Michigan if it isn't written down, it never happened. Go to court over a real estate problem, the judge askes for the signed agreement showing what you are fueding about. If there isn't a signed document, he says " dismissed ".
In AZ, all real estate transactions must be in writing to be enforceable.
I am sure that every person has a story about a friendship or business relationship that went sour because of a misunderstanding between both parties. So I agree.....get it in writing.
It is great when someone can put something so important in just a short blog! Phil (#59) stole my thunder with his second sentence, so I will just note that in the Mortgage business here in Washington state, we actually are required to have the clients sign a "Notice of No Oral Agreements" form as part of the loan application. So at least in our field in this state, the state will not let us do it with a handshake or any oral agreements.
Here in Idaho, we have the Statue of Frauds in real estate that effectively states if it isn't in writing, it doesn't count! I like that since it gives me an opportunity to tell my clients the importance of the written contract.
Very well written post. Nomatter how big or small the transaction getting it in writing is the key.
In writing, on paper and signatures allow us to sleep better.
Ty
To me a relationship is more likely to break over something that isn't in writing. Shaded memories aren't a good thing in a real estate transaction. Always get it in writing! There are plenty of other ways the parties can tick each other off...why add to it with verbal agreements that are too often mis-remembered?
To add to the whole "get it in writing" theme - save and print the pertinent emails between agents if the counters are presented in the body of an email. I have a recent deal that when we were presented the HUD1 for review prior to COE, the listing agent said his seller wasn't paying for the home warranty. "Ahhh, yes you are. It's part of the original contract." He neglected to include the exclusion in the various counter emails - all he indicated was price, earnest money and COE date. Our signed counter changed those three items and concluded with "All other terms and conditions of the original purchase contract to remain the same" Sometimes even written agreements are mis-remembered!
It's also wise to take notes about telephone conversations - dates, times, details.
Sending a follow-up email is a good idea, too. "This is what I understood from our conversation ... is this how you understood it?"
Good notes kept my company out of a lawsuit once when a client refused to take our advice and acted to her own detriment.
I am always amazed at agent who will leave their clients unprotected by not confirming in writing.
Thanks for the reminder.
These are words of widsom to be sure, whether you are a Realtor or stager.
Isn't that Real Estate 101? It only takes a second!
I'm amazed at how relaxed some folks are becoming - getting it in writing is real estate 101! Our contracts are complex - and force us to be explicit about the entire agreement. Its not just price and closing date. after all.
I'm going to use that 'memory aid' next time during negotiations! Negates the I don't trust you behind a good business practice.
I don't think it could've been said better. We hate to come across as untrusting, but when dealing with contracts, it's IMPERATIVE that everything be in writing. Great post!
Get it an writing and keep copies! I keep each and every email for each and every transaction. As a habit, I will send an emai "to confirm our earlier converation" and it has covered my fanny more than once....
The old saying, "Tailpipe Handshake" comes to mind. You shake hands, and as soon as their backside is out of view, the agreement is no more.