As online social networking becomes more intertwined in the fabric of everyday life, there seems to be a general shift towards virtual interaction with friends, colleagues and customers.
And although this trend allows for the maximum amount of online social-butterflying with the least expenditure of time, I often wonder if all of the exposure comes at too great of a cost.
Because every minute that is spent in the virtual world is one less that is spent with real, live, breathing human beings in the real world of everyday life.
Are we giving up too much of our humanity for the sake of convenience? I for one, still enjoy the pleasure of good company. At the office, we still have lunch in groups and talk about our lives in general outside the world of real estate.
It is still possible to enjoy social networking in the REAL world! It may be old-fashioned, but it still works!
And it feel pretty good too!
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Richard,
Not only is it necessary, its becoming more of a "lost art."
Rich
Our chamber of commerce picks a member business to host a once a month "business after hours" get together...for no other reason but to have local service and retail owners meet ,greet and reconnect with peers.
Richard, you see this with kids especially. They'll text each other all day long, but getting them to pick up the phone is almost impossible. And when they're together in a group, getting them to interact socially (being quiet, for example when someone else is speaking) is very difficult. For me, it is refreshing to pick up the phone every now and then.
Richard,
When I brought my nephew to visit my alma mater's campus not long ago, I was shocked to see the quad, once filled with people, co eds, frisbee players and teeming with activity, a ghost town.
Everyone was in their dorm rooms on their campus-issued laptops.
*sigh*
The one chance they have to be around 3000 young smart beautiful members of the opposite sex in a relatively carefree environment, and they are squandering it in front of a keyboard.
Richard,
Brilliant post. The original social networking is still vital. Getting out of the house and the office and being a friend to many, in person.
Richard, I think like a lot of technology some people will use it and benefit from it but need the human interaction also. I'll bet more people are neglecting their laundry, yard work, kids, house cleaning etc. for virtual time. Nice Picture.
Excellent article~ I agree this is an Art and those that still do practice "Live" social interaction, are decreasing but I do not believe they will be eliminated! There will always be a part of society that prefers the connection that comes from a face to face meeting.
I have noticed with the younger buyers, they do not like to connect "live" they much prefer technology. Therefore, we must adapt to the next generation of buyers.
Rich...
I think that it is losing ground. Thanks my friend.
Steve...
That's a great way to meet and greet, and I think that we need more of it! THX.
Bob...
It makes you wonder what they will be like as adults. Thanks so much.
Phil...
OMG that is frightening. I never thought that this problem was so endemic. Thank you for the dose of reality.
Through various Groups on LinkedIn and elsewhere, I have met many new business contacts, clients, and customers, and enjoyed lunch meetings or other social gatherings with them. I turn "Digital Social Networking" into "Real Life Social Networking".
Very well written post. I like the daily water cooler interaction with people whom I would not get to interact with in the daily lunchroom most of all.
I find real world social networking more rewarding than online, simply because the one on one interaction is more engaging and ultimately more satisfying.
Great points! I think one of the most valuable parts of "on-line" marketing is making sure people are using it to make, keep and improve their "off-line" relationships.
Yes, the keyboard can be like a magnet that keeps us from those "real" interactions. Maybe balance is the key.
Thank you
Spent last night at a real networking event where lots of business folks were enjoying themselves. Made some great contacts. Yep, the 'puter is fine but it is still nice to touch the flesh (shake hands!)....
Richard....the lost "front porch" is being substituted for an online version. Problem is that not all your senses are engaged when you are interacting online. Quality of experience is being sacrificed for quantity and where this is all going.....who can say. Nothing beats looking someone in the eye to experience the depth of their soul. You can only write so much....and entertain the imagination, but the REAL will always rule.....for me.
Thank you for this most thought provling post
Best
Very well said! And you also stand out more when you take a more personal approach as so many are firmly ensconced behind their computers.
I go to the office for just that reason. I'm the most boring person I know and long to talk with others. How many times when texting, emailing, or phoning have you told someone you like her new haircut and got a smile?
I could not agree more...it will be interesting to see how things are in a few years. GORGEOUS photo!
On that note... I think that we'll be heading to town. :) Got some people to see.
I have gotten away from the social networking thing. It takes a lot of time, and so much of it is spent "talking" about mundane things like what level a person has reached on a particular online game. That said, we need a presense on the social networking scene, but need to know that the most effective marketing is done face to face. Let's see how all of this evolves over time.
Richard, I so agree with you. I certainly enjoy my time online, especially her at AR, but when is too much? It's so easy to stay on the computer, especially in this terrible heat! But time with friends and family is priceless.
Richard - I limit myself to a certain amount of social computer work daily. I then limit myself to a certain amount of computer time. I require myself to spend X hours per day outside of the 'office' interacting with real live humans. Its what I have to do so I don't spend all day in front of the iMac...
While FaceBook, and Blogging are great ways to spread the word, no online venue can ever compare with the personalization of face to face socializing.
Social networking in the real world is a postiive thing. I remember not too long ago I had a friend, local to my area, messaging me on Facebook about how upset she was over a family event. I picked up the phone and called. For some reason, she was surprised. By the end of the conversation, she said, "I should've called you from the beginning. I feel so much better now." There is a connection that happens when you hear someone's voice, or can see their eyes, that makes all the difference.
Geez! We have virtual friends, virtual businesses, virtual education.
When will virtual sex hit the Internet??
Wait. I suppose it did, early on with XXXX rates stuff.
Richard- While online networking allows us to be introduced to hundreds of more contacts, gettting to really know people is better accomplished face to face.
I am still wondering if E mail will go away and we will only use Facebook, Linkedin, etc. Get out there and be a real human today and shake someone's hand or better yet give them a hug.
Hi Richard. Great question...
I still do it as much as possible.
It is harder as I get older w/ kids etc.
You can't truly share the pleasure of a cold Heineken on facebook!
Thanks for writing,
Ken
I don't do it enough. Although I can say that since I moved back into my home office I have become a bit more productive, I do miss the social aspect. I do need to do more venues though.
I keep thinking about the drunk in North to Alaska who kept wanting to sing Gold is where you find it. For me. gold is on social networks if it is a means to a desired result. If all I do is engage online then I can't monetize it, not can I achieve the result of personal interaction. On Facebook yesterday I started a discussion about the day, ended up with 3 other REALTORS® in an aftennoon get together at a local watering hole, and included three other people who I knew who showed up knowing we would be there. Keep your eye on the prize.
I have looked in on rooms where 4-6 teens are in . All are texting on their phones and doing VERY LITTLE talking among themselves !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nose to nose, toes to toes. That's the way it's always been done. People still want to be able to look in your eyes and listen to your voice. Social and online are great for what they are but personal contact is still where it's at. There are parts of in person that are less fun but it's still the most vital part of the equation.
I thought Richie #15 made two great points.
> seeing the depth of one's soul
> the real world rules.... for him
Then we have racy, lacy Lenn, what can we say.
I am not the social butterfly type and I don't "get" the level of texting going on (I'm from the generation of people and of the people who actually made this possible), but who is to say that these relationships are not deeper?
Analogy: people lamented it was about quality time with your kids... when later studies proved is was actually more important to have quantity!
If that holds true for developing relationships with our kids, it seems like the volume / quantity of internet supported communications should be good as well.
There has to be a balance. Online networking is important, but so is face to face. Just not enough hours in a day to do everything, as much as we would like!
For me, the snippets of ongoing social media contacts are warm-ups for face-to-face meetings. When I arrive at a lunch or other gathering, I already know something about what is going on in the other's life that gives me material to start the conversation. I think it is all about balance and using the tools we have to enhance our relationships.
I'm surprised how many (especially new) agents are so difficult to communicate with in person or over the phone but are so eloquent and responsive electronically. I see the shift in younger clients as well...they'd almost rather do everything over email & searching over the internet. I don't know what I'd do if we lost the face-to-face altogether...
Richard,
I'm old school; I social network in person about 90% of my time.
Richard,
More on that. I gave up Facebook. (It was mindless chatter). Don't use Twitter, etc. It's a generational thing I think.
Dang, Richard...we must have been on the same wave link. Check out my blog... I wrote about the same thing.
Sometimes people get so comfortable online, they get uncomfortable in person!
agreed Richard- there is nothing like face to face interaction-sometimes the brave online become meeker when they lose the safety net of aloneness(to type a bold response in a room by yourself verses having to look you in the eye and speak standing arms length away :)
I think Ken said it best in #28: "You can't truly share the pleasure of a cold Heineken on facebook!"
I have been thinking about face-to-face networking lately, glad to see your post about it! I use to belong to 3 different network groups, that have just fizzled away. For me, the convenience of online networking just seems to take over.
The operative word in Social Networking is "social". It's about interacting with people that share similar values. When that happens, we connect with people regardless of time and distance. That's why you have the phenomenon whereby people that have never met, except online, and when they do meet in person, they "feel" like they've known each other for years.
To achieve business success into the future, we "oldies" have to understand that the world is vastly different to what we knew 10 years ago. The X, Y and Z generations instinctively know how to use technology to build social networks. If we don't adapt, there's going to be less and less of us to do business with and that is surely not what we want to have happen.
I don't even know where to start...watching my fianceee on her iphone on facebook all day kinda lets me know that she and her friends perfer messagint here and catching up as opposed to going out for lunch due to the young children involved and how hard it is to find a babysitter. I for one am a social butterfly and I need human interaction therefore I do not have the internet on my cell phone. If someone wants to "catch up" with me there are plenty of places that have happy hour and its half price and its a half hour..if you cant make that kind of time for me then remove me from your "friends"
Phil...that scares the hell out of me..I was President of my Fraternity and Captain of my Volleyball team in college and nothing beat "hanging out".
The future is full of even more social interaction through online media in many ways we haven't even begun to think of. It's all about being constantly connected to everyone sharing your life experience. People who will be successful using this media will learn how to use it in a balanced way with the normal face to face interactions and other 'traditional' ways of connecting to others.
Those who don't see this happening already will definitely be playing catchup in the future, as information moves faster and faster through these different online media. If you're not at a minimum learning how to use it, you will probably be frustrated at some point in the future when others around you are comfortable being with you and at the same time connected to others.
Richard, Well, I agree that there can be too much time spent on social media, I also think there are situations that better relationships are developed and in shorter times through social media. I am referring specifically to blogging...I think the platform allows me to know people more intimately and faster and vice versa. There is much more "real" conversation on AR than at any networking event I have been too. At least the people I have met on AR are people I WANT to meet.
Great article Richard. Often teens in a room will be texting and sometimes texting each other. They will not answer phone calls or voice mail but a text message is answered immediately.
I prefer "media" social networking and have to make myself GET OUT THERE!
With people being so busy, gas prices and the cost of doing business now, people are opting to do it over the internet rather than over a costly dinner and drinks with a potential client. The networking/social events that we used to go to in the past are not as well received as they were when the internet wasn't as prevalent .
I used to think that "Skype" or similar products would have had a bigger impact in the social networking scene via the webcam. I know there are apps on some of the social networking websites for "video chat" but it doesn't seem to me that there are a lot of people using "video" as much in social networking. I guess we still like the old fashioned way, blogging...lol
Of all of the websites, Facebook, Twitter and Digg lead the pack with Brand Exposure, Web Traffic, SEO and convenience.
See link: http://www.cmo.com/social-media/cmos-guide-social-media-landscape
I still think we will be taking the "visual" direction more and more in the future.
great questions and interesting post
where is that balance between cyber and live?
we need to be congnizant that contacting someone via the net is definitely no the same as face to face
As a parent of 2 teenagers, this is a real concern for me. Sometimes I think my kids spend more time on cyberspace than with friends. Fortunately, they have jobs and extra-curricular activities that appear to balance this interaction out. I was a little hesitant to go this way in my business at first. I could quickly see that if I was unwilling to change, then I would miss out on lots of income opportunities.
We live in a very small town. Everytime we go out we are "networking".
When I wrote this post this morning< i had no idea what kind of response I would get.
I am somewhat gratified that I now know that others cared enough to leave so many great comments. Some, like Phi;'s comment, are almost a cause for alarm.
But it most cases, I think that we still want the human element, but that we will supplement it online whenever possible.
We are in a relational business and if we spend too much time online we can forget the importance of genuine relationship and it could impact our business interactions.
Richard: Of course1 Face-to-face is always better and more productive than online. I think we need a number of different tacks in order to generate business these days. Thanks for the post!
Richard...live social networking is still my best source, and the most enjoyable
I think it is possible to combine the 2. I would never give up meeting with friends (tonight will be at my church for the summer festival) for the sake of online networking. I enjoy both!
Richard, good post. All of it is just a piece of the puzzel that we need.
Staying focused is the key to making it through these tough times. Some hard work, honest with ourselve and focus, focus, focus and we will prevail. After every rain storm the sun shines bright.
Our office has a great comfy meeting area with soft sofas and chairs, a big screen and very cool lighting. We love to sit together for our weekly meetings and for training sessions - it helps!
Hi Richard, I think the more things change, the more they stay the same. Social media came along, and everyone runs out to greet it. Eventually, it's not new any more, it's the normal. Anything alternative evolves into mainstream once everyone does it. Social media is becoming the norm. Then comes something new! Actual human interaction. You know, letters, phone calls, gatherings. Even a bbq or a neighborhood block party. I'm exaggerating a little, but you get the point. Keep doing what works, and we can call it whatever we want.
Richard, great thoughts.. I guess I should go hang out with friends and family & get out from behind this computer!
Richard,
You have a true knack for blogging and writing ones that hit home, obviously by the roll of featured blogs one after another.
Want to give lessons?
I love to read your posts... I think I should just camp out here for a while!
Richard:
Social media is a double-edged sword. It is a good way to stay in contact with long distance and long lost friends. However, with people who are close at hand I would prefer to keep the relationship on a more personal level. I fear that, particularly with young people, real personal interaction may soon become an endangered specie.
I love social media, it takes a lot of time to keep up with it and I sometimes feel like I'm talking to no one. But, there should be balance between online and real world. I go to at least 2 networking events a week to get infront of realtors and tell them about home staging.
Great article!
Great post. The human touch is still important. We need to keep sight of that everyday.
Well said....it's still important to look someone in the eyes and have that personal interaction.
Richard, thanks for this blog post about "real world" social networking...there definitely needs to be a good balance between that and online social networking! :)
Leilani