I consider myself to be a good person. I always try to do the best that I can, and I try to do it better than anyone else. I am also very competitive by nature and I like to prevail when the situation demands it.
But I also have a tendency to second guess myself if I fail. What could I have done differently? How should I have overcome obstacles that were set before me? Where did I go wrong?
I have spent many a sleepless night rehashing events of the past that cannot be changed or altered. And to a certain extent, it’s the inability to do so that creates anxiety and frustration.
After all, I am a problem solver. I am supposed to be able to fix everything. And when I can’t, it’s devastating.
All that can be really salvaged from these episodes is a life lesson learned, and hopefully add some chapters to my life’s book of experience, which by the way, is now a ponderous tome.
And once I let go of the past, I can move forward again!
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Richard:
Try as we may, it is not possible to be perfect. I tend to beat myself up over past failures at times as well. But, really, if we have more things in the plus column at the end of the day, we have had success. You simply cannot do all things...
Dude, you need to lighten up on yourself, how do I know...because I do the exact same thing, and that is what my colleages remind to to do....we are not and never will be perfect
When we give it our best, we need to move on. Sure we learned a lesson or two for the next time..but what is done, is done!
We all have these issues and short fallings. The key is to move forward and try to never make the same mistakes that make us feel so bad.
Learn the lesson quickly and move on
As the qoute goes " a man who lives in the past deprives himself of the future"
Enjoy your day
Ah Richard...the sign of a person with a conscience! Problem is we don't see alot of that these days so you feel alone...not to worry. You're in good company! ;-)
Richard - A. L. Williams described it best, "All you can do is all you can do, but all you can do is enough."
I learned a long time ago to "break the chains that bind me"......and it works for me.
Hi Richard, men by nature want to fix and solve everything. We can only do what we can. Not everything is in our control and we have to move on and not beat ourselves up. Just from reading your blogs, I would in a heartbeat refer someone to you knowing they will be in good hands!
Strangely, I've noticed that the people who tend to be hardest on themselves after mistakes tend to NOT be the people who should.
What I'm not sure is whether this person's self-abusive habit create a person who really does not need it, or if the person with this characteristic creates this habit. Basically, does the person create the habit, or does the habit create the person? Did it make the person great, or is a great person just this way?
(Thinking about it, this question probably goes for ANY characteristic--not just the self-abusive ones.)
Richard, It's hard to let some things go due to the 'lesson learned', because most likely the experience did not end in a good way or to our desire. I'm working on that too!
I could really beat myself up if I let myself, but I just have to say "that is not the way I do things anymore". Live and learn, we can't be perfect, we weren't meant to be.
Richard. A true professional thinks every listing and every offer should be able to come to a successful conclusion even though we know in our heart that is unrealistic. I tell my agents Ted Williams still hold the record season with a 400+ batting average...he was the very best at his sport and missed nearly 60% of the time.
Richard..I do second guess myself at times, but seldom lose sleep over a decision I have made. Not much can be done to fix anything in the middle of the night, so I get a good nights sleep so i am thinking clearly in the morning.
I think that post shows that you're an emotional person which of course has great qualities to it. It is easy to beat one's self up when we are not happy with our performance. I think it's a good quality as long as you use it as a learning lesson, and don't let it prevent you from moving forward!
I sent you an email re: your photo.
Good morning Richard,
You need to let go of the past and stop beating yourself up. It you gave it your best, did the right thing then that is all you can do! You need a good nights sleep and maybe some down time. Try and enjoy the week-end.
I think anyone with a pulse experiences situations like you've described.
The best thing to do is learn from them and move on.
Richard,
It's the "letting go" that I'll be working on for the rest of my life.
Rich
I am the same, looking back to see what I could have done different. However, it was probably a new situation otherwise you would have done it differently, so look at it as a learning experience and it will never happen again.
Richard: I am very much like you. I like to beat myself up when things don't work out. After a bit of thrashing on that mindset, I get up, dust myself off and move on.
Richard - I am a coulda woulda shoulda kind of guy. I have more wins on Monday than Sunday. Yet I still have memory replay. Guess thats how it is. Cheers to your forward movement
It's a guy thing my friend as we are the Fixers of the world. Just sometimes we screw it up a little even if it's just our own opinion.
Oh yea I wish I could do a few over again. I try to learn from my mistakes as I see them any way.
A "ponderous tome"? LOL. I do the best I can with the information available. Remember that you can learn both from success and failure!
Russel took the word right off my keyboard. The learning curve can be a two edged sword but learn we must...
Richard, we are feeling the same thing aren't we. Now I fully understand your comment.
I tend to really chew on it before I spit it out....