The real estate profession is stressful even in the best of times, but even more so these days. The constant struggle to make deals happen can gnaw away at even the hardiest soul.
There are many sleepless nights spent wondering if "I should have dome this or I should have done that." It's life on the edge, and it can take it's toll on the psyche over time.
But there's a popular saying these days that brings inner peace to me during these times of intense pressure. When those situations arise that are out of my control I simply say to myself:
"It is what it is."
Once we realize that we do not have ultimate control over the universe, and that we can only do that which is possible and achievable, we can take a deep breath and relax. There are bad things that happen every day and we can't fix it. No matter how much we stress about it.
I only have control over me. And that indeed "is what it is!"
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Just the picture brings peace to the soul. It for sure is what it is!
"It is what it is."
Learn it and learn to work within it. Find your niche and focus, focus, focus.
Rich--great saying AND great photo, as usual. Enjoy your Sunday.
Boy o Boy did I need this bit of motivation this morning. Thank you my friend for the post.
"It is what it is!"
When I stopped running the world, Richard, I became a much happier person! Thanks for helping us all remember we can't control the universe.
Richard: I find myself using this phrase a lot. It is also my Broker's mantra. The catch all for bad situations where you have no control.
Edward...
That photo has found it's way on to spiritual book covers because it really does have that effect! Thanks for noticing.
Lenn...
During one of my most stressful deals this year, my client reiterated this to me and all was well after that! Thanks my friend.
Erica...
Thanks, it's rainy here so I just might watch some pro football! If I can sit still for that long!
Richard,
Very "Zen" like this beautiful Sunday morning in September. And more accurate the older I get.
Rich
Richard, Thank you! I really needed an attitude adjustment today and this hit the spot!
Richard, you are right we can not control or change anyone or the market.
It is what it is.
Obviously we learn and grow from every transaction we do, but some things are just beyond our control. Letting go brings peace and freedom.
Great Sunday morning inspiration.
Richard, I use that phrase daily when talking to potential sellers. Most are way upside down but "it is what it is" let's deal with it.
I spend the first 45 minutes everyday sitting out by the pool enjoying the peace and quite, thinking through my day and meditating. I started this practice about a year ago and can't imagine being able to handle the stress of my job with out this time alone.
This is something we all need to remember. We have control over very little.
Richard,
The saying "It is what it is" is one of my favorite sayings. You are right you only have control over yourself. I love the photo. I grew up in upstate N.Y. and our little church looked amazingly like this one in the photo. I do miss the gorgeous fall colors. They are magnificent!!
Don...
Now THAT is a snappy new photo ... I don't recognize anyone anymore. Have a great Sunday My friend.
Irene,,,
I know it ... running the world took WAY too much of my time! Thanks for the comment and have a great day!
Chris Ann...
And I have been chanting the phrase a lot these days! Too many times. Thanks as always!
We all try to overcontrol our lives. Live life as it comes to you. Some things are just plain out of our control.
Richard, stress can often have some negative effects on the mind and body. It's good to have a way to over come those stressful times. "It is what it is" says it all. Thanks.
It sure is and in the words of thr great John Prine as he quotes: Dear Abby
Have a good weekend!
Rich, The picture alone brings clarity and calm. Thanks for sharing.
I've been using that phrase for life in general, much less business, for as long as I can remember. It really comes down to simply accepting that sometimes thing just are the way they are whether we like it or not.
Hi Richard. Nice post on a nice relaxing Sunday. For me it helps me to workout at the gym, walk with my dogs, etc. Peace comes from within... for me. Have a great Sunday :-)
RW,
That photo could have many captions but I will leave it to the folks viewing it. LOL
Thank you sir.
Richard:
That is an expression that is so appropriate for so many times...
My husband had a phrase that he would use for me, more in my beginning years than now, but he would say, "Whatever happens with this sale - you're not going to die from it." That seemed to work.
You are absolutely right on with that statement! I say that all the time! I will have someone freaking out on me and I tell them, you cannot undo it, you cannot change what is....it is what it is! So true and why drive yourself batty over something that you cannot change! It is often suggested that if you want to see things change around you...change yourself! It is amazing how perspectives shift when we concentrate on what we do have control over rather than those things we cannot affect. Great post!
Richard,
Too much stress is not a good thing, it becomes paralyzing, but too little stress is not motivating.
Brian
Rich...
Sometimes I'm full of Zen! lol and thanks.
Diane...
I used this to manage my computer crash and I was able to avert a lot of woe! Thanks.
Missy...
And it's hard for type "a" personalities to let go .. but sometimes we must! Thanks for the comment.
I'm just going to agree with several of the posters "I needed that this morning" Thank you.
Richard: Thank you for your clarity. I appreciate it. Sometimes we forget what life is really all about; it clouds our judgement. At times like these, I think it's best to step back and remind ourselves how thankful we are are for all that is in our life. At least that works for me! Thanks for the post!
Richard, it is a nice thought but not always successful. Sometimes as Realtors we become enablers for the unappreciative and the abusive. Somehow we think that we can successfully close the sale and be Dr. Freud at the same time. This is where we need to realize that the money will not compensate for peace of mind. Being conscious of that, we need to say to ourselves, giving up is a victory not a defeat.
Richard, in tandem with "it is what it is" (my favorite- thanks for the reminder) is "worry about what IS, not what IF"- that tends to return me to a more stable mindset in this time of unforseen challenge! That photo is spectacular.
"It is what it is"- very good saying. So simple, but so true.
My friends and I have a mantra we have used for years ..."Oh Well!"
This says it all for me!
I have not had any sleepness nights I just think about all I have to be grateful and as long as I have my health and well being of my family everything is gravy.
Good reminder, when you try to control everything and take responsibility for it all, it's a pretty heavy burden and can cause a lot of stress. You have to be able to let it go.
Richard you are so right. One thing that brings me more comfort in addition to the acceptance of the situation is that God is ultimately in control of everything and He does everything for my good, even if at the time it is painful. This may sound cliche' but there is a lesson to be learned in everything that we experience.
Richard: So true. We live with the delusional thoughts that we are actually in control and we are not. The only thing we control is our thoughts and how we choose to relate what’s happening around us.
Richard: Yes indeed... a big sigh of relief... I'm not responsible for all of it. I'm not in charge. Yeah, let's go play...
It is so easy to say but I find I still stress over things. I know I can't change it but I hope I learn from the experience so i don't get into it again.
Ooooh Richard. I really like your blog posts, but I hate that saying. It is true that we cannot control things outside of our immediate realm, but I've found that phrase, "it is what it is" to be overused and trite these days. To me it signifies that a person has just given up or has nothing to add to the conversation. But I will still follow your posts. :-) Best of luck to you.
That little phrase sums up much in life. Do the best we can at all times and realize we cannot make all things perfect.
Richard: As usual a great post, thought provoking with beautiful photography.
Richard- it's a phrase my husband says constantly and seems to live by. It took me a while to really figure out what it meant because I'm the kind of person that has lived by the "where there's a will, there's a way" approach.
Quite the timely topic. Our keynote address at the Alabama Association of Realtors Convention is by Darryl Davis and the name of it is How To Stop The STRESS! I'll let you know if he has anything to add to this.
Hi Richard,
That is exactly right - we don't have ultimate control so we must put it all in prospective and enjoy the small victories as well as the little things in life that make it great. Super post!
Richard - I use this phrase, too. It helps to keep me from worrying, because there is really very little that I control.
Richard I do love that attitude. You alone or I can not change what is is or is going to be. Once accepted its a coat of duck wax for water.
With every season, turn, turn, turn. I love fall. And need to remind myself "it is what it is" (where is, as is -- as the saying goes)
:-)
I use that saying frequently. Nice post. LOVE the picture! BTW, I, too, think the same as you during sleepless nights!
To all...
Thanks for the great comments. I have read and enjoyed every one of them! I really appreciate the loving support of the AR community!
Richard
Great Post!
A saying I need to take to heart more.
Thanks
Good food for thought - Richard.
After I know I've done everything I know to do, I just back off. Some transactions are not meant to happen and I respect that very much.
You are so right-- it is what it is. All the best.
That is so funny that is my favorite phrase these days. Much like the serenity prayer in that it says there is only so much you can do.
Richard, I say a little prayer every morning. Lord grant me the wisdom to change the things I can for the better and no worry about the things that I can't and the wisdom to know the difference. At my age I am always at peace.
I am amazed at how important we tend to think we are! We don´t need to control everything. The older I get, the happier I am that some things are out of my control!
Thank you I'll remember these words when things aren't quite what they should be.