The role of being a dad has changed a lot in my lifetime. When I was a young boy, the tradition of the working father and stay at home mother was still in full effect. As a matter of fact, I can't remember that any of my friend's mothers had jobs.
Fathers were the breadwinners and the head of the household. And this clear definition of responsibilities always affected the relationship between father and offspring.
Fathers were forced into the position of disciplinarian, while mothers primarily assumed the responsibility of nurturing. It was a scenario that was common in nearly every household in the country. How many times did we hear those dreaded words: "You just wait until your father gets home."
But as mothers began moving into the mainstream workforce in the late 1960's and early 1970's, several dramatic changes occurred. One was that women could now become financially independent and strike out on their own, and the rate of divorce escalated.
As a result, single fathers were suddenly faced with the daunting task of being both father and mother to their children. Eventually, this behavioral trend overlapped into the traditional two parent household, and being a dad became an entirely different undertaking.
Nowadays, fathers are much more involved in the nurturing of their children during their formative years. The "role definitions" have completely eroded, and both parents usually participate equally in all activities relating to child rearing.
I'm not sure that I like the trend. My father made me the man that I am today. I inherited his strong work ethic, his compassion, his zest for life, his creative talent and his fiery passion.
And although he has now been gone for fourteen years, I still seek his approval every day. After all, he set the standard for what a father should be.
All I have to do is live up to it!
Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there!
Photos, top: Dad is ecstatic in the midst of all of those grandchildren! Bottom: Yours truly and my beautiful daughter!
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Thanks for sharing your fond memories.
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Richard,
I can relate to you memories. And I'm not to sure I like the way the roles have changed either. Thanks for sharing my friend and Happy Fathers Day to you too.
Roy...
You are most welcome. I'll be thinking about dad all day!
Don...
I appreciate it my friend. Have a great day!
I enjoyed the post and can appreciate your feelings
Richard, I can't tell you how many times I heard "Wait until your Father comes home." The anticipation of waiting was the worse part. Great tribute to you Dad. Have a great Fathers Day!
Thanks Richard, great story and viewpoint. I hope you enjoy your Father's Day.
Richard, yes, the threat of "Just wait until your father gets home" really just doesn't cut it anymore...but I have to admit, as a Mom, I am SO grateful for the help and support my husband gives. He is the best father I could ever hope for for my son!!!!
Richard... nice little tribute to your dad. ... I am not a father, but just an uncle... lol But treasuring my time with my dad now, we just can't lose site of that. Time comes and goes very quickly and with the recent events that have included my dad, I cheerish my time with even more so than ever before... thanks for sharing this.
Richard, you look so much like your dad! And I so enjoyed the peek into your life, thank you. And look at you, so young, with that beautiful daughter! We were babies having babies. At least by the look of the photos, LOL.
Things have changed, thats for sure. I too remember that "wait until your father gets home". Of course dad never raised a hand to us, even if we deserved it, LOL. He gave me that look, and that was all it took.
Have a wonderful Father's Day!
Hi Richard, Happy Father's Day! My Dad was a firefighter, so often wouldn't be home until the next day. Punishment was generally not delayed, so my Mom was in charge on those days. I will be thinking of my Dad today, too.
Hi Richard,
Happy Fathers Day. This is a wonderful post. Thanks for sharing.
Ron...
Thanks for jumping in. I really appreciate it! Happy Father's Day to you!
Michael...
It was a different time, that's for sure! Thanks and happy Father's Day to you!
Gabe...
And a very happy Father's Day to you! Thanks for the comment.
Good morning Richard,
I enjoyed your post today about your Dad. Hope your day is wonderful, filled with fond memories of years past, like mine is.
Regards,
Patricia Aulson/portsmouth nh real estate
Richard,
This is certainly a touching post.
My how things have changed....my husband worked every 3rd day so the rest of the time he basically is Mr. Mom (and does a fabulous job).
I know my boys are getting such good quality time with their father...it makes we happy as a mother!
Enjoy your day!
Thanks for the post this morning. At 61 I grew up in the era of a breadwinner dad also. My Mom did everything else it seemed at times. They both made major contributions in my life, and I like to think of myself as a combination of both of their strengths they gave me. Dad was a man who could sell ice to an eskimo type of person, and my mother was an intellectual who taught me the joy of reading. I like how their talents they gave me help create balance. Dad has been gone for over 13 years, but as on every father's Day since, I will talk to my brother and sister, tell stories about Dad that make us laugh, and stay together as a family without living parents. My Dad was an amazing man, and in my memories, and hopefully in my actions, he still is.
Yes, Fatherhood has changed but not the love and understanding.
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Fathers Day Quote by: Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi" Atlantic Monthly, 1874
What a nice post this was, which brought fond memories back to me, too. Those words. "Just wait til your father gets home," still ring in my ears. The waiting was far worse than the punishment.
I hope your day is full of everything you love.
Happy Fathers Day! Beautiful post!
Beautiful, Richard, I loved reading this. I wish all Father's were as wonderful as my dad. He's been gone since 1980, a lifetime ago and I miss him every single day. You posted an incredible tribute to your dad!
Marney...
It sounds like you found one of the "good ones!" Thanks for the comment.
Jeff...
Well being an uncle is very important too, and a lot more fun because you don't have to pay for school lunches! lol and thanks.
Andrea...
Believe this or not, but I was 26 in that photo and my daughter was nearly a year old. She was a little peanut, wasn't she? THX
Mary...
Having a firefighter for a father had to be very cool, but it sounds like your mom was not a patient woman! lol and thanks!
Cindy...
And thank you for the kind words!
Pat...
And those memories will always stay with us, wherever we are and no matter how old we get. Thanks.
Dad's have a mothering side to. I am a full time single dad and you have to be more than a dad. It is the most rewarding job, responsibility, privledge.
Richard: My Dad passed away in 1994. At the time he had just been elected President of the Park County Board of REALTORS in my hometown, Livingston, Montana.
Of course, I joined real estate much later, but many days I sit and wonder what wisdom and guidance he would pass my way if he were still alive now.
I know he watches me everyday....I just wonder if I'm missing any signals?
Heartfelt post Richard! I could certainly relate. The only difference was my Mom (of 8 kids) used to say to us......Do you know what that means if I have to call your father home in the middle of his very important meeting? The fear of God would race in....and we'd shape up fast! He did come a few times cause of those darn brothers of min!!! Boys will be boys!
Thanks for the great memories this morning My Dad has been gone a year and I think of him often and attribute my business success to him.
Very touching post. Happy Father's Day! :)
Those dreaded words growing up, "you just wait till your father gets home". The fear was much worse than the eventual meeting. He never touched me Lol. Happy Fathers Day!
Very sweet, Rich, Happy Fathers Day to you. The role of fatherhood has evolved like everything else in this world...
Richard: Yep... "just wait until your father get's home!"... Although we really dreaded that when it happened, my brothers and I almost preferred Dad's punishment (swift and just) compared to Mom's tongue lashing... I miss them both and sometimes as a Dad myself, I could still use a little fatherly advise from time to time.
My Dad struggled (as did a lot of men) with the changing times of the 1960's and my Mom wanting to work. He always kind of pictured himself as the God Father... it was his job to take care of pretty much everyone around him.
I am so blessed with great kids... and most of them will be able to come over this afternoon for BBQ.
Happy Father's Day... and thanks for a great post.
Rene'
Richard - A heartfelt/fitting tribute to your dad. Very touching and the pics are great! I still seek my dads advice even though he is gone now as well... I sure miss him and would have a million questions for him that I could have never of thought of back in the days when he was still alive. It always comes back to me on Flad Day! That was his birthday so that day has a double meaning for me. Good job and an entertaining read.
Like you, Richard, Dad's absence doesn't diminish his impact on me and my standards.
A VERY happy Father's Day to you, my friend! No doubt your dad is looking down with pride.
Richard,
Different Dad's for different times. It's all good.
Happy Father's Day my friend.
Rich
Richard, thanks for your view on fathers. I am stuck in the Leave it to Beaver days and think the roles of mothers and fathers are pretty separate, but that is not the way the world has worked for many years. The responsibilities are so often shared or with single parenthood on either side, all the work goes to one. I appreciate your talking about your father and how much he meant to you. Happy Father's Day.
The role of fatherhood changed for my dad..How Dad's Life Changed on an Autumn Night
Happy Fathers Day, Richard, and loved the photos.
Richard...As my dad slips closer to the trip of his lifetime, I still seek his approval and friendship. Even though his stroke has diminished his capacity a bit!
Richard, thanks for sharing your Father's love on this Father's Day. Your Dad would be so proud of this tribute to him, I,too, grew up in the 50's when my Mom stayed home and nurtued us and was our first teacher and role model for a daughter. My dad was the breadwinner and disciplinarian. His work ethics were handed down to me and his perfectionism. I miss him and think about him always.
Have a Happy Father's day, Love the photo of you and your daughter.
Richard - Great post ... your are lucky to have had such a wonderful man in your life.
Richard,
What a wonderful tribute to your Dad! I'm sure he's looking down at you today and beaming with pride. In our house besides the "wait until your father gets home" it was alwyas "youll have to ask your father" whenever we wanted to do something or go somewhere.
Richard, I loved reading your story. I too wish we had more traditional roles. It seemed to be much more stable, back in the "day". The world in general was. I had to laugh when I read "wait until your Father gets home"....I used to DREAD hearing those words come out of my Mother's mouth. Happy Fathers Day.
Having no memories of my father at home, I don't have opinions on the traditional roles from my own experience.
Nice post.
I can't say that I have those memories...but I am trying to create memories for my son to remember of me every day.
Richard,
I see so much of my Dad in your post. Most childhood memories were great and some were not...like the wait until your father gets home comment...that must have been nationwide.
I, like you, lost my dad in the '90's and now that I have a son in college and a daughter in high school, I see so many things more clearly that my Dad was trying to accomplish in his own way and I see my childrens successes and failures in certain ways that I know my Dad saw.
I was able to spend time today with my son and daughter and my wife of 22 years...no gifts...no cards...just time and laughs...I miss those times with my Dad and i cherish them with my wife and kids...today was another beautiful day.
Happy Fathers Day to you and all of the Dad's of the world!! We are the lucky ones!
Mike McCann
I lost my dad 12 years ago, and I know EXACTLY what you mean when you talk about measuring yourself every day. The effect our fathers have upon us is amazing... and daunting when we start thinking about the effect we have on our sons.
Richard the roles have changed. I think it is for the better myself. I loved my Dad, gone 15 years, and he did the best he could but had trouble expressing his feelings. I think the young men of today can exhibit compassion and express the feelings that they have much more openly than the fathers of yesterday.
Thankfully, I still have my dad around. What wonderful pictures, thank you for sharing.....
One of the biggest problems we have in our culture is absent fathers. It is a sad trend. Our culture is geared towards stripping boys of their masculinity. Many boys growing up have no role models or any idea how to be a man. This has hurt women too as these boys grow up with no respect for women or how to be a partner. It hurts girls too, as they often do not know how to find love or what love is in a safe environment.
My dad has been gone 10 years. I miss him a lot. I would love to have one more day with him.
Many things have changed through the years and family life has changed right along with it. Of course, with the way prices and cost of living has changed, two working parent has become almost a necessity just for most people to get by.
Richard, great post. Growing up my mom was the breadwinner, but my dad had more of an impact on who I am today than my mother. He tought me a great work ethic, we even joke about that today that neither of us know how not to work and just rest a minute. Fathers Day was special, I cherish ever minute I get with my dad.
Very nice pictures Richard and thank you for sharing!
Things have changed in today's times. Now that BOTH parents are working...it is the kids that are being raised by strangers and/or extended family. This is NOT a good thing. I will do whatever I can to ensure that MY children are raised by myself and my wife.